Anti-stimuli

If I go to bed at 12am and then wake up at 2.38am and don't go back to sleep, I'm not going to be performing at my optimum level during this last week of training for work.

I guess it also doesn't help that I have been kicking off my daily schedule with a solid hour of intensive grammar training. I have so far been unsuccessful at disguising my expression (of a stunned kangaroo trapped in an oncoming SUV's headlights) as I try to process how to explain the difference between the simple present/present progressive tenses, the closed past/open past and the four possible future tenses (just for starters). And then of course there are 6 associated highlighter colours to memorise, some really experienced colleagues to keep up with, and endless questions to ask and answer; or, in most cases, grammar teacher eye-contact to avoid.

Aside from my unfortunate grammar-deficiency, I have also been waking up in night-sweats over:

• my (fear of) ineptitude as a teacher
• whether I'm going to find the time each day to do the 20 minute Pilates DVD programme that a new colleague lent to me (as per her recommendation),
• what I might say in my wedding speech
• what are we supposed to wear to Dutch language training next week?
• hm, my knee hurts, maybe I shouldn't do that Streetdance class at gym tomorrow night
• what am I going to wear tomorrow?!
• how I mustn't forget to reschedule my piano lesson because of work
• oh, must email Erika at work about that thingie next Tuesday
• how we should brief the photographer on Saturday, and,
• how Edwin is sleeping (because my constant nocturnal thrashings / teeth gnashing and sighing / audible squeezing of my eyes shut while I try to focus on my breathing even though my mind always drifts off are sure to be keeping him awake).

So, after Edwin tickled me on the back to get me to sleep again (after staying up with me for a good hour and a half the other morning / middle of the night), he decided there's no other solution.

I'm going to have to be medicated.

The course of Dormiphyta® (don't worry, it's a homeopathic remedy!) tablets starts tonight. I really hope I have a whole night's sleep. I have the first of many dummy lessons to teach tomorrow, and another two hours of grammar training to look forward to and the wedding photography brief to write before the weekend.

Ah, the joys of an over-stimulated mind.